At their best, these beliefs gave me a false-sense of safety and strength. The idea “I don’t need you, I can take care of myself” fed my ego and kept me feeling better than those weak people who need each other. At their worst, these beliefs kept me alone, detached, scared, hurt, and shameful.
I guess it was time to ask for help, admit that I could not do this alone, and let people in. Ugh.